10/26/2010

"Bones of a Past Life"

We are
starving souls
proud of our bones.
Perfection is measured
in inches and pounds.
Nobody understands why we choose to be drowned
in our solitude and sorrow. . .
Anger, Defeat,
O. C. P.
Ana is our only friend.
She tells us that we must be thin.
Resembling the face of sin,
she tells us we can always win.
She says the secret to success,
-Eternal Happiness-
is counting, pinching, passing out.
Hiding from the world,
we are skeletal, suffering girls.

10/13/2009

Dip your toes into the sand
only to put your full weight down--
only to find you're sinking and
only you can help yourself now.
Reach your hands into the air
only to bring finger tips to oxygen--
only to realize no one else is there
and to find yourself sinking deeply again.
The sun has found the back of your neck
as you're knee deep in this mess. . .
Your arrogance has left you
a wreck
as you fade to
nothingness.

3. September 2011

I'm in a mood for words. . .
My adjectives, your verbs.
Walk slowly, for time consumes quickly. . .
and when I'm not with you, I am simply sickly.
We turn
and
twist
and
Match each other.
Mix together until
there is no space between
one another.
Everything you do
makes me feel new.

Our electric connection
produces a
spark
and will burn to create
the most wonderful
art.

30.June.2011

Hey there, Hi.
I've got plenty of free time.
If you'd want to waste it with me, well, I wouldn't mind.
Hey you, I
think it's about time we met.
'Cause I'm known for either being alone, or in over my head.
And I'm tired of sitting in the shallow end, when I just want to dive
I'm tired of being dead, when I just want to be alive.
So if you would simply cross my path and tell me who you are...
Give me a hint, a name, or something and I'll wish upon a star.

20. May 2011

As someone I trusted, I handed you the knife.

Marked myself for each incision.

Spilled my guts willingly

to you.

I wish I could dissect your mind,

-Give you back the pieces of your heart that are left behind

sticking on my skin like parasites,

eating away my shell

and reminding me of that night.

How warm it would have been

to wake up next to you.

To pass the day by the way that lovers do…

But it ends, all in the same.

More of a massacre than Love Games.

Covered in blood, we lay in the dirt.

Wipe our hands clean on each others’ shirts.

This doesn’t change a thing, I swear.

We’ll piece each other back together in strips…

Once I can get your taste off of my lips.

… …

You are . . .

Someone who appreciates me
for a side that nobody else ever sees.
Who makes me smile when noone else can;
Who makes me feel like the girl I secretly am.

Someone who can make me better when I'm feeling low.
Someone who will listen when I need it most.
Someone who will hold me tight
and, please, don't let go.

I think it's amazing when you
make fun of me,
and try to make me laugh
and tell me that I'm pretty.
And I love how you say the things you say
and the way you touch my hair.
And I like that when I'm with you,
I feel like we're the only ones there.

7. May 2011

30. April 2011.

Sensational
is the descriptive word that launched itself across my mind
when we walked out of the room.
I wish I could section off your brain.
The feelings I'm warming up to are
completely insane.
I just want to know if we feel the same. . .?
And when you're trying to fall asleep
late at night,
Do you think of us and how it feels just right?
I hope I'm not wrong.
'Cause, when I'm alone I think too much
and that's what I concentrate on.

25. April 2011

I need everybody;

I want nobody.

Pressure builds and I . . . push it away.

I'll get over it some day.

Pull myself out.

Fire all about.

My ashes won't ever be spread.

My spirit will never be

left for dead.

. . .

Will I become self-absorbed instead?

. . .

I find myself lost in the eyes that I see.

This girl in the mirror cannot lie,

for she's the only one who truly knows me.

12. April 2011

I can whisper in my own ear
secrets I won't let anyone hear.
Problems I have,
But don't want you to know
because I fear they would
turn you away.
Sometimes I feel helpless; alone.
Reckless and Restless.
Never at home.
I long for touch, escape,
any way to communicate.
I'm a sucker for kind expressions.
I don't fall often, but when I do, it leaves impressions.
I express myself in awkward ways
on my better days.

4.5.11.

Good Morning, Beautiful.

The phrase is rather foreign.

I think I like your pronouns,

so keep them pouring.

You make me feel certain

the feeling's worth exploring.

I'm not one to jump, so push me off the edge.

Feeling. . .

Thump, thump, thump.

Blood Rush in my head.

To begin anew. . .

Is knowing you.

28 March. 2011

Waking, Walking.
Aimless but entirely certain
that everything is right.
Take my hand,
Help me stand.
I'll make it through the night.
I'm coming home
So Be there
When I dive and delve through the unknown.
I'm renewing highs
Breaking ties
Mending back the ropes
and giving in to new hopes.
So be my light
To stand and fight
As I dive and delve through the unknown.

20. February 2011

You bathe in your own pain and sorrow.
You constantly dread tomorrow.
You feel as though the world is against you.
Just waiting for the sky to fall through.
Pessimistic and Unstable.
Imbalanced and Unable
to understand the good intentions-
To analyze and see in three dimensions.
You wait for apologies from those
not guilty.
Your moods are confusing-- Your contemplations, empty.

You won't look up.
Won't look for yourself...
You're beautiful, and you hide.
You won't let others see inside.
You're hard to read, confusing to be.
I think you're in love with me.

20th February. 2011

Maybe we had time

to finish the unfinished.

We left a messy scene. Nobody seemed to notice.

Wiping the blood from my hands.

You have no reason to be scared. I’ll hold you, we will be okay.

We’ll pretend it was any ordinary day.

They say there’s no such thing as a perfect crime.

But I beg to differ this time.

We dumped the body off

In 3 deep feet of mud.

We covered it with leaves

We did not hide the blood.

And when sirens start to sound, We’ll disappear and not be found.

Running from the law,

Running from their hounds.

We have no place here anyway, come, let’s go now.

We have no time to stay

There’s No reason anyhow.

Partners in crime, and murderous ones at that.

We disappear into the night, wings spread wide like bats.

12/5/10

10 September 2010

Sickly Spinning.
Peeling out of my skin.
The comfort it had long provided
was wearing thin.
We have this mutual
Expression of Amazement
Feeling of being lost
With no direction to turn.
Uncertainly insane
I start to feel deranged. . .
What else am I missing
when we are kissing?

I want to love you, but I feel like the "glue". . .
All of your problems stick to me
After they bounce off of you.

I feel like I should know you better by now,
But it blows my mind
Every time.
Every time you do the same things,
I'm left feeling like
I'm the only addiction
that would be easy for you
To
Break. . .

26 July 2010

Products of a Monster; We don't know who we are. . .
We are
Walking skeletons that no one sees
-Everyone notices-
Overworked slaves that no one feeds
-We are not hungry-
We are
Murder victims undetected.
Gaping wounds completely infected.
-No alcohol applied-
We walk
Ourselves through hell deliberately.
-We have no personality-
We get what we deserve
-Never any better-
Suicide through Mental Words.
A voice inside tells Right and Wrong.

The monster consumes us until we are gone.
We walk together.
-Stand alone-
We have no place to call home.
We hurt- We heal-
We cannot feel.
Always good, but not good enough.
Our lack of sensation makes us

"Tough".